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APA:恋爱男性先说“我爱你”多为尽早发生关系

来源:中国日报网 2011-06-20 13:07

据英国《每日邮报》网站6月17日报道,美国《个性与社会心理学期刊》近日发表报告称,在男女恋爱过程中,男性通常要比女性早6周、在确定恋爱关系97.3天后开始考虑说“我爱你”,不过男性说这句话的动机可能并不单纯,女性认为过早说出“我爱你”的男性不太可信。

在得出这项结论之前,社会普遍认为在恋爱中是女性先说“我爱你”。

然而最近的调查结果却与上述结论相反。经过对一些正在恋爱和有过恋爱经历的成年人调查后发现,男性首先说出“我爱你”的比例占到了61.5%,他们在恋爱后的第97.3天开始考虑说这3个字,时间比女性早6周。

研究者称,出现这种现象的原因并不单单是因为女性刻意等待男性先说“我爱你”,而是男性要比女性更早开始考虑表达自身的感受;还有一个重要的原因是,在恋爱过程中,男性对较早发生关系有着更强烈的渴望。

另有调查表明,恋爱的男性更喜欢早一点听到“我爱你”,这并不是因为男性更容易动感情,而是他们认为女性说出这三个字是想同他们发生关系的信号,如果在事后听到这句话,他们可能会害怕为对方承担责任或者干脆逃之夭夭;对于女性而言,她们则不太相信过早提出这一话题的男性,这可能是因为一旦发生关系后怀孕对她们造成的伤害相对较大,所以她们认为事后听到这句话,意味着男性对爱的承诺,也表明对方愿意当“准爸爸”。(生物谷Bioon.com)

生物谷推荐原文出处:

American psychological Association    DOI:10.1037/a0022412

Let's get serious: Communicating commitment in romantic relationships.

Ackerman, Joshua M.; Griskevicius, Vladas; Li, Norman P

Are men or women more likely to confess love first in romantic relationships? And how do men and women feel when their partners say “I love you”? An evolutionary–economics perspective contends that women and men incur different potential costs and gain different potential benefits from confessing love. Across 6 studies testing current and former romantic relationships, we found that although people think that women are the first to confess love and feel happier when they receive such confessions, it is actually men who confess love first and feel happier when receiving confessions. Consistent with predictions from our model, additional studies have shown that men's and women's reactions to love confessions differ in important ways depending on whether the couple has engaged in sexual activity. These studies have demonstrated that saying and hearing “I love you” has different meanings depending on who is doing the confessing and when the confession is being made. Beyond romantic relationships, an evolutionary–economics perspective suggests that displays of commitment in other types of relationships—and reactions to these displays—will be influenced by specific, functional biases. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)

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